Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time

A food bank for Koreans has been opened up near us.

You can hear the barking and yelping for miles around.

[Stephen]

I tried to download the new Band-Aid song to raise money for victims of the ebola outbreak, but my anti-virus software wouldn't let me.

[Ray Scully]

AN AIRPLANE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH; THERE WERE 5 PASSENGERS ON BOARD, BUT ONLY 4 PARACHUTES.
>
> THE FIRST PASSENGER, HOLLY MADISON SAID, "I HAVE MY OWN REALITY SHOW AND I AM THE SMARTEST AND PRETTIEST WOMAN AT PLAYBOY, SO AMERICANS DON'T WANT ME TO DIE."
>
> ...... SHE TOOK THE FIRST PACK AND JUMPED OUT OF THE PLANE.

> THE SECOND PASSENGER, JOHN MCCAIN, SAID, "I'M A SENATOR, AND A DECORATED WAR HERO FROM AN ELITE NAVY UNIT FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA."
>
> ........SO HE GRABBED THE SECOND PACK AND JUMPED.
>
> THE THIRD PASSENGER, DONALD TRUMP SAID, "I AM GOING TO BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, I AM THE SMARTEST MAN IN OUR COUNTRY, AND I WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" .
>
> ..........SO HE GRABBED THE PACK NEXT TO HIM AND JUMPED OUT.
>
> THE FOURTH PASSENGER, BILLY GRAHAM, SAID TO THE FIFTH PASSENGER, A 10-YEAR-OLD SCHOOLGIRL, "I HAVE LIVED A FULL LIFE AND SERVED MY GOD THE BEST I COULD. I WILL SACRIFICE MY LIFE AND LET YOU HAVE THE LAST PARACHUTE.
>
> THE LITTLE GIRL SAID,
>
>
> "THAT'S OKAY, MR. GRAHAM. THERE'S A PARACHUTE LEFT FOR YOU. THE SMARTEST MAN IN AMERICA TOOK MY SCHOOLBAG ."

[Ray Scully]

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was
> massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of
> lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the
> distance...
>
> The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,
> 'Well, she's there'

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad,
> where did my intelligence come from?'
>
>
> The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it
> from your mother, cause I still have mine.'

[Stephen]

Keeping on theme.

A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.

She Asks her students to raise their hands if they too, are Liverpool fans.


Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher Looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you
raise your Hand?'


'Because I'm not a Liverpool fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not an Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?'

'I am a Man Utd fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Man Utd fan?'

'Because my mum is a Man Utd fan, and my dad is a Man Utd fan, so I'm a Man Utd fan too!'

'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Man Utd fan.

You don't have to be just like your parents all Of the time.

What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug Addict, what would
you be then?'
'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpool fan.'