Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Unread post by **Stephen** » 24 Jun 2016, 08:22

It's Friday Fun Time

My mate died after taking an E.

Countdown's security staff don't pi** about.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 24 Jun 2016, 12:00

A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.

The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son my child?"

The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."

With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

Unread post by **qbman1** » 24 Jun 2016, 12:14

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Unread post by **qbman1** » 24 Jun 2016, 12:20

Top 10 Rules for supporting Wales at EURO 2016

1.There is absolutely not, under any circumstances, any reason to attend games dressed as a daffodil.
2.Robson-Kanu’s first touch is not a “knock on”, that’s just the way he plays.
3.When Sam Vokes clears the crossbar with a penalty, it is not a reason to cheer. Far from it…
4.You will never, never, never, never, never, hear one of the players call the referee “sir”.
5.Gareth Bale’s hair style is acceptable in this sport. Aaron Ramsey’s is unacceptable across all sports.
6.Supporters may have a different kind of “waived gesture” when shown on the stadium’s big screen. This differs immensely to what you may have grown accustom to at Wales six nations games.
7.Unlike rugby, the big lads play at the back and the quick lads you want to give the ball to are the forwards.
8.You’ll be astounded at the differences between what’s a yellow card offence in football compared to rugby and you should prepare yourself for that.
9.If the manager is in the stand watching the game with his assistants, it’s not normal and in fact, they may have done something very bad during the game.
10.The welsh players gathering before kick-off is not an uncontested scrum.

Unread post by **qbman1** » 24 Jun 2016, 13:48

Now with added nuts...

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Unread post by **qbman1** » 24 Jun 2016, 13:49

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 24 Jun 2016, 15:11

Me and the wife decided to make our own sex tape.

She was pi**ed off when I started holding auditions for her part.

Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 24 Jun 2016, 15:27

Hello all,
A friend of mine has managed to get some tickets for the Euro final in France.
Unfortunately, he has realised that he is getting married on the same day.
He has asked that if anyone wants to go in his place ………

……it’s at St Andrews Church in Brighton and her name is Sarah.

Unread post by **qbman1** » 24 Jun 2016, 15:30

I may be interested - do you know her bra size ?

Unread post by **Stephen** » 24 Jun 2016, 18:48

.

Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 25 Jun 2016, 12:44

I went to Morrisons before and the cashier asked this foreign couple in front of me if they wanted help packing their bags.... I thought B****r Me this is happening quicker than I expected!!!

Unread post by **Raybosailor** » 25 Jun 2016, 13:02

I was in Waitrose yesterday and the checkout girl asked the Polish couple in front of me if they wanted help with their packing.
I thought blimey she must have voted out of the EU

Unread post by **Raybosailor** » 25 Jun 2016, 13:05

You beat me to that one Foxy

Unread post by **Stephen** » 25 Jun 2016, 14:27

oldbluefox wrote:
I went to Morrisons before and the cashier asked this foreign couple in front of me if they wanted help packing their bags.... I thought B****r Me this is happening quicker than I expected!!!

Oh I did chuckle at that Foxy

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 25 Jun 2016, 15:46

Given the current uncertainty surrounding the situation I find the above 4 posts unpleasant if not a little racist. Sorry but that is how I feel

Unread post by **Raybosailor** » 25 Jun 2016, 15:55

Don't take it to heart Ray the rest of Europe has been laughing at us for years.

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 25 Jun 2016, 15:56

You miss my point.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 25 Jun 2016, 16:29

It's just a joke Ray. No racism at all intended.

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