Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Unread post by **Stephen** » 01 Jul 2016, 08:33

It's Friday Fun Time

I have outlived my feet and my teeth, I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts of dementia, have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,

I still have my driver's licence.

Unread post by **Silver_Shiney** » 01 Jul 2016, 08:46

You're fortunate to have a driver, but why are you holding his/her licence?

Unread post by **qbman1** » 01 Jul 2016, 15:19

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Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 01 Jul 2016, 15:32

I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my wife walking down the aisle towards me.
My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable.
It seemed to take an age but eventually, there she was, standing beside me.
I gave her a loving smile and said, "Get that trolley over here, Love. They're doing 3 cartons of beer for the price of 2"

Unread post by **Stephen** » 01 Jul 2016, 16:15

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Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 01 Jul 2016, 16:18

Stephen wrote:
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Unread post by **Stephen** » 01 Jul 2016, 16:31

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"92," she replied: "Two years older than me"

"So you're 90," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

Unread post by **Silver_Shiney** » 01 Jul 2016, 17:16

Stephen wrote:
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"92," she replied: "Two years older than me"

"So you're 90," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

That reminds me of a time when my FIL was a bank manager (very useful, "you bounce my cheque, I kick your daughter out").

An old lady asked to see him and said she needed to encash her husband's life assurance policy now that he had passed away. After offering condolences, he gently asked when the sad event had taken place. She looked at her watch and said "twenty minutes ago"

Unread post by **Silver_Shiney** » 01 Jul 2016, 17:18

Stephen wrote:
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I was about to copy that to my DIL but then remembered she's voting for Trump

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