Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
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- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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towny44
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 9668
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Hopefully one of them will be Jeremy Corbyn come September.
John
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12527
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Stephen wrote:It's Friday Fun Time
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I was taught to be cautious
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12527
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The secrets to long life from a 104 year old lady
I was taught to be cautious
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12527
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Getting Married Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go in.
Jack addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds"
Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jack: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "Yes"
Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We do..."
Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and walking sticks?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"
Pharmacist: "Yes."
Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."
Jack addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds"
Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jack: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "Yes"
Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We do..."
Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and walking sticks?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"
Pharmacist: "Yes."
Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."
I was taught to be cautious
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Three men: an American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone I have a microchip in my hand."
Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his a*se.
The others raised their eyebrows. "Will you look at that" says Paddy, "I'm getting a fax."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone I have a microchip in my hand."
Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his a*se.
The others raised their eyebrows. "Will you look at that" says Paddy, "I'm getting a fax."
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
We're just going to have to accept this situation without question.
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qbman1
- Captain
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- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire