It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
It's Friday Fun Time
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A new study shows that hurricanes named after women are more deadly.
Mainly because when they leave, they take half your stuff.
Mainly because when they leave, they take half your stuff.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
(Australian Police Entrance Test)
An Australian man is seeking to join his State Police force.
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six Drug dealers, six Muslim Extremists, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
An Australian man is seeking to join his State Police force.
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six Drug dealers, six Muslim Extremists, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
(Old Timer Sex)
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'how about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple pass, he says to them,' excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence..
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'how about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple pass, he says to them,' excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence..
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15348
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15348
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Kendhni
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 6520
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
If you ever end up in hospital beware of your grandchildren. The most likely cause of death will them unplugging your life support to charge their phones.
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15348
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
George rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says George , 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says George , 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 11359
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Mervyn and Trish wrote: ↑07 Sep 2021, 15:26George rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says George , 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
